Losing my virginity

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Diorette
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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by Diorette »

l'enqueteur wrote:
Diorette wrote:I'm wondering, why are there so many teens/kids wanting to have sex? My teacher told us that she knows a 12 year old girl who is pregnant (I think she already gave birth or I don't know)
That's how old my childhood friend was when she had her child, it was the summer right after 6th grade. And we went to a K-12 grade school...so by the time my friend was a Junior, her daughter was actually in school with her. She's almost eleven now. I couldn't even imagine having a child at 18 or 19, let alone 12.
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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by guestgue »

Teens/Kids are a lot more interested in having sex or two main reasons.

The first being that we are living in highly sexualized times. Shows like "Teen Mom" and "Sixteen and Pregnant" practically glorify young pregnancies in the sense that "hey, if I get pregnant, maybe I can just get a show on MTV!"

Second, sex has become less demonized. It's not that people weren't having sex at young ages before, people just weren't hearing about it. If a young girl got pregnant she was sent away to a special school until she had the baby and her parents could force it to be adopted out. It was extremely taboo to have sex out of marriage, especially at such a young age-so people kept it more quiet. Social media has really heightened awareness about the issue.
Last I recall, I think teen pregnancy is actually on the decline.

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by owwlexandra »

^^Yeah i agree. But sometimes i feel so old fashioned. When people say 17 isn't too young to have sex, it baffles me. I'm 17 and honestly i don't think i should be having sex because if i get pregnant, i can't support the child. And almost everyone in my school has had sex and half of them are so immature. (guys AND girls.) there's always catty drama, and they think 2 months is long enough to wait to give yourself up to someone. Idk, maybe something's wrong with me.
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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by Diorette »

^^ Nah, I feel the same way, but I'm pretty sure all girls of my grade are virgins, I'm in a catholic school and they give very very good sex ed.
However, a lot of older girls act like whores.

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by guestgue »

I'm intrigued by what kind of sex ed you receive. Mind elaborating? The only reason I say this is because the Catholic faith is notorious for teaching abstinence only, which has been proven repeatedly ineffective. The Church also has a strong opposition to contraception so I'm assuming if it's actually good education about how to protect yourself, it must not be too orthodox?

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Re: Losing my virginity

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guestgue wrote:I'm intrigued by what kind of sex ed you receive. Mind elaborating? The only reason I say this is because the Catholic faith is notorious for teaching abstinence only, which has been proven repeatedly ineffective. The Church also has a strong opposition to contraception so I'm assuming if it's actually good education about how to protect yourself, it must not be too orthodox?
They don't teach us to remain virgins (well, they do, but they don't say like "if you're not virgin you're a whore" or things like that) we have a lot of conferences about sex, love, STD's, boyfriends, etc.
They show us cases of girls with STD's or single young moms

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by lemondrop »

RainbowConnection wrote:OK, so I have plans to lose my virginity soon, and I was wondering if anyone has any tips for your first time, and is it super painful? Because I am (understandably) very nervous about it. In a good way though... :) so if y'all could help it would be awesome.
Sorry to be a downer but penetrative sex is likely to give you much pleasure... ever. A very small minority of Women have vaginal orgasm and I doubt your what 16? year old boyfriend will be that concerned with giving you a good time too.

Are you mature enough to purchase condoms, birth control etc are you mature enough to discuss foreplay and not just end up with the chance of STD's, pregnancy and not even getting any real pleasure from your experience?

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by Diorette »

^^
I agree, most women have orgasms only if they give them another kind of pleasure (masturbation for example).

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by Gurutesque »

I was watching this movie called The Pregnancy Pact.. and I honestly think that teaching abstinence is wrong. It will just tempt girls to experiment the pleasure of having sex, and they would try to make it even more interesting by not using protection.

I honestly think that giving contraceptives, and protection is the best way. Your child will use protection, and will be backed up by birth control. Now, that's not 100% safe, but prevention is key.

Now, alot might disagree, but this is just my opinion :D

Here's the link to the first part of the movie (there's 8 parts, available at the sidebar)

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by azealiabanks »

Diorette wrote:^^ Nah, I feel the same way, but I'm pretty sure all girls of my grade are virgins, I'm in a catholic school and they give very very good sex ed.
However, a lot of older girls act like whores.
Probably shouldnt be calling other people "whores" because of their sex life. I knew there would be slut shaming in this topic...

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by Diorette »

azealiabanks wrote:
Diorette wrote:^^ Nah, I feel the same way, but I'm pretty sure all girls of my grade are virgins, I'm in a catholic school and they give very very good sex ed.
However, a lot of older girls act like whores.
Probably shouldnt be calling other people "whores" because of their sex life. I knew there would be slut shaming in this topic...
No, they act like that, they talk about their sexual life almost yelling it to everyone and some other things that I don't want to talk about, if you saw them, it's just ugh.

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by guestgue »

Diorette wrote:
azealiabanks wrote:
Diorette wrote:^^ Nah, I feel the same way, but I'm pretty sure all girls of my grade are virgins, I'm in a catholic school and they give very very good sex ed.
However, a lot of older girls act like whores.
Probably shouldnt be calling other people "whores" because of their sex life. I knew there would be slut shaming in this topic...
No, they act like that, they talk about their sexual life almost yelling it to everyone and some other things that I don't want to talk about, if you saw them, it's just ugh.

You're really only furthering the same argument. The fact is, you can't really tell someone what is right for them. If they want to sleep with 3 guys in one night- that's their issue, not yours.
In one thread you talk about wanting "sexy costume" ideas, but on this thread you act as if you are ultra-conservative.
Hunny, it doesn't matter if it's just "one day/Halloween" you can't have it both ways. You're being the pot that calls the kettle black.

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by Diorette »

guestgue wrote:

You're really only furthering the same argument. The fact is, you can't really tell someone what is right for them. If they want to sleep with 3 guys in one night- that's their issue, not yours.
In one thread you talk about wanting "sexy costume" ideas, but on this thread you act as if you are ultra-conservative.
Hunny, it doesn't matter if it's just "one day/Halloween" you can't have it both ways. You're being the pot that calls the kettle black.
You're absolutely right, I'm sorry, I'll try to improve.

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by owwlexandra »

Diorette wrote:
guestgue wrote:

You're really only furthering the same argument. The fact is, you can't really tell someone what is right for them. If they want to sleep with 3 guys in one night- that's their issue, not yours.
In one thread you talk about wanting "sexy costume" ideas, but on this thread you act as if you are ultra-conservative.
Hunny, it doesn't matter if it's just "one day/Halloween" you can't have it both ways. You're being the pot that calls the kettle black.
You're absolutely right, I'm sorry, I'll try to improve.
You cannot be serious -______- what you wear has nothing to do with how much you have sex. I think all women like to look sexy sometimes. But if someone sleeps with 3 guys in one night, most people would call that promiscuous behavior. Also, Diorette never said this was "her issue". The original poster asked for people's advice and got it!! So she isn't "being the pot that calls the kettle black" unless wearing sexy costumes equates to having a promiscuous sexual life.
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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by Diorette »

owwlexandra wrote:
Diorette wrote:
guestgue wrote:

You're really only furthering the same argument. The fact is, you can't really tell someone what is right for them. If they want to sleep with 3 guys in one night- that's their issue, not yours.
In one thread you talk about wanting "sexy costume" ideas, but on this thread you act as if you are ultra-conservative.
Hunny, it doesn't matter if it's just "one day/Halloween" you can't have it both ways. You're being the pot that calls the kettle black.
You're absolutely right, I'm sorry, I'll try to improve.
You cannot be serious -______- what you wear has nothing to do with how much you have sex. I think all women like to look sexy sometimes. But if someone sleeps with 3 guys in one night, most people would call that promiscuous behavior. Also, Diorette never said this was "her issue". The original poster asked for people's advice and got it!! So she isn't "being the pot that calls the kettle black" unless wearing sexy costumes equates to having a promiscuous sexual life.
Well, thank you :)

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by guestgue »

It's about more than this post, actually-that was just one example of today's double standard. I'm not meaning to target Diorette, but the fact is what she was saying WAS slut-shaming. The thing is, women really need to STOP downgrading each other; men do it enough (It's the EXACT reason why men can get away with calling a girl a slut, but when his 'bro' sleeps with 3 girls he's 'the man'- because they don't shame one another)

So yes, I was serious. I'm in a monogamous relationship and have only ever had sex with him, but only becuase that's my preference. I have a girlfriend who has had a good number of sexual partners. Am I better than her? Absolutely not. Is she a whore because she enjoys sex, but until recently hadn't found a guy she was willing to settle down with for an emotional connection as well as physical? Hell no.

This topic has LONG passed being about giving advice to the OP, as she has long since abandoned the thread. Instead it truly became a slut-shaming extravaganza.

3 guys in one night might be a reach, but honestly-it's still no one else's business.

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by Rosewynn »

guestgue wrote:It's about more than this post, actually-that was just one example of today's double standard. I'm not meaning to target Diorette, but the fact is what she was saying WAS slut-shaming. The thing is, women really need to STOP downgrading each other; men do it enough (It's the EXACT reason why men can get away with calling a girl a slut, but when his 'bro' sleeps with 3 girls he's 'the man'- because they don't shame one another)

So yes, I was serious. I'm in a monogamous relationship and have only ever had sex with him, but only becuase that's my preference. I have a girlfriend who has had a good number of sexual partners. Am I better than her? Absolutely not. Is she a whore because she enjoys sex, but until recently hadn't found a guy she was willing to settle down with for an emotional connection as well as physical? Hell no.

This topic has LONG passed being about giving advice to the OP, as she has long since abandoned the thread. Instead it truly became a slut-shaming extravaganza.

3 guys in one night might be a reach, but honestly-it's still no one else's business.
This. So much this.

I am so sick of hearing women put down other women for something as stupid as how many sexual partners they've had and the like.

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by iRawr »

owwlexandra wrote:
Diorette wrote:
guestgue wrote:

You're really only furthering the same argument. The fact is, you can't really tell someone what is right for them. If they want to sleep with 3 guys in one night- that's their issue, not yours.
In one thread you talk about wanting "sexy costume" ideas, but on this thread you act as if you are ultra-conservative.
Hunny, it doesn't matter if it's just "one day/Halloween" you can't have it both ways. You're being the pot that calls the kettle black.
You're absolutely right, I'm sorry, I'll try to improve.
You cannot be serious -______- what you wear has nothing to do with how much you have sex. I think all women like to look sexy sometimes. But if someone sleeps with 3 guys in one night, most people would call that promiscuous behavior. Also, Diorette never said this was "her issue". The original poster asked for people's advice and got it!! So she isn't "being the pot that calls the kettle black" unless wearing sexy costumes equates to having a promiscuous sexual life.
I agree. I don't see how wanting to dress 'sexy' has got anything to do with sleeping with 3 men in a night. Personally, whether it is a man or a woman - if they had been sleeping around with a bunch of people / having one night stands, I don't care what gender they are, I'd have no respect for them. It's none of my business, obviously. But I'm entitled to my own opinions, and wouldn't shove it in their faces. It's their life, if that is how they wish to live it, so be it.

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by Audacity »

The truth is, you will probably never know when you are ready, I think that is a myth. I waited until I was 22 and I'd fantasized and dreamed about losing my virginity for a long time. I almost had a breakdown when it was about to happen and I made him stop. We tried again when I'd calmed down and it wasn't what I expected at all. It wasn't bad, but sex vs. masturbation is VERY different. It isn't like in the movies or TV when you see all these sexy scenes. It's gonna be sweaty and messy, and possibly make weird noises. It might be painful or uncomfortable to keep your body in certain positions.

Don't underestimate foreplay and lubrication, you need to be VERY aroused and lubricated or you won't enjoy it. The second time I had sex with my BF (now ex), I was in the mood but I wasn't crazy horny. I kept getting dry and it just kept feeling worse and worse. I just wanted it to be over, the next day I felt like I was burning down there from the friction. He didn't really put much effort into turning me on or pleasing me. Be aware that you might not be sexually compatible with someone.

So, I hope I didn't burst your bubble. I'm not saying sex can't be enjoyable, but for some women it just takes a while to get to that point. Don't be too disappointed if sex isn't what you envisioned. If it is, that's great, and you are very lucky. I wish you the best.

Also, I really think you should use two forms of contraceptives. Birth control pills and condoms. Even then, there is a small chance you could get pregnant. It is something to think about and probably decide before you have sex.

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Re: Losing my virginity

Post by whoa »

The term whore and slut are just overused. Just because someone has had multiple partners and has no problem discussing their sex life doesn't mean that they are a whore or a slut. It means that they are comfortable and open about themselves to discuss sex with others. I would rather be around someone who was open about those things rather then someone who is going to sit in judgement if you discuss the topic. This isn't the first time the word has been thrown around towards girls on this board, even by the same poster, and each time it makes me cringe.

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