My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

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My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by LicenseToLurk »

Dear Diary, I’m getting good at this writing stuff down, lovelies!! So popular am I that yet another thread has been generated for lil’ me! Good thing I’m looking cute *vapid giggle* and living my best c*ntry lyfe!! Snorttttt!! Fake screech of laughter, snot bubble out of left nostril.

I am transitioning beautifully - no, not into a man you thilly thausages - into a c*ntry wife with dashing faux insta husband (he’s a dab hand with his weapon) ooooh of course I’m talking about pidgeon shooting - he’s a rooting tooting shooter sponsored by BaaBaa (I think that how you spell it, too lazy to check) and Aston Martin, Mutha F*ckers - still can’t believe we managed that one *self five*. So shooting pidgeons is such fun! Never done it before, but I’ll say I have. I’m better than him, obvs, brilliance is built in as standard, thanks Daddy) *emits crazed demonic laugh* We have blended into the country scene so seamlessly and a lady even said to me today “you look like new money”!! Ah. What a lovely thing to say! We are new money, bitch!! And we can buy and sell you several times! *explosion of ridiculous, self unaware laughter* she has no clue how confident I am. I’m a proud but difficult woman. Haters gonna hate. I’ve got my knockers (actually they need replacing, waiting on Dr Ahads’s brother for a freebie), but no, I’ve got my knockers as I am THE face of ByTerribleMuriel which is as good as Miss World let’s face it. I’m a model. I’m willowy. I’m elegant. Not awkward. Not angular. Not manly. I’m delicate. I’m a wikkle pwitty pwincess. I piss excellence. It’s true, I’m great at everything. I was dropped into a pool of glitter as a child and I’ve sparkled ever since (hugs to Daddy). Looks to the sky and sighs... up in the marshmallow clouds in LydiaLand, you can take a ride on a glittering unicorn through the fields of gumdrops, past the fountains of magical sherbet and take a slippy slide down the candy rainbows... shakes head.. enough of that Lydster. Back down to earth to hustle (clicks fingers) & decide how your girl is gonna break it to Moron Gordon that he is losing his hair *witch like cackle* oh who bloody cares, back to me, Spring Lydia is loading & everyone adores Spring Lydia - my carefully curated selection of overpriced diaphanous white gowns (and the odd piece of H & M tat to keep it real for the subs). I may even consider losing the sleek sexy hun bun. But first, lets get this weekend finished. I’ve had to start periodically using the horrid word AD as the nasty pasties have grassed on me (no one likes a grass) and I’ve had a bit of a bollocking. Nervous giggle. Luckily I’m too thick skinned (stoopid) to actually care & my subs love me enough to not care either. *throws head back, evil roar* these bishes don’t even blink an eye at the Olay shite I feed them occasionally. They lap dat shit upppppp. I would never sell out or promote something that wasn’t my favourite (lols) but I also wouldn’t put that lard anywhere near my precious face. Secret squirrel but I’ve been approached by a tv company. Eek. They want to show everyone how brilliant I am, basically. Wasn’t really listening to the details, just the fees. The proposed title is ‘On The Fiddle With Lidl’. Not decided if I’ll do it yet. I’ve never played an instrument. Oh Diary, I miss my house. I miss my mirrors. I miss the feral pet graveyard that is MY home. I miss the mismatching floors, doors, cloakroom, board room, basement, the cats that hate me, my dusty champagne glasses, unused, no friends. I miss my pickernic basket, my posh tea towels, my random vases. I miss Carrie.. actually, that’s a lie. She’s a nause! Oh I miss everything inanimate in my life. Those are the things that really count. People who say ‘possessions do not maketh the man’ have clearly never possessed anything. Oh let’s get this shit show over with. Old ‘Maverick’ is giving me the irritations, he thinks he’s Quick Draw Macgraw now. Any relation to Sticky Vicky? OH I WANT TO GO HOME. Taps hobbit feet 3 times. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Laterz haterz xoxo

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by Iris1969 »

Thanks :tu:

Lydia is liking her own post again :?.


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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by GeorgeePorgee »

Who holds a steering wheel like that? Like a kid riding a toy noddy carImage
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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by Lola-Faith »

LicenseToLurk wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 1:03 pm
Dear Diary, I’m getting good at this writing stuff down, lovelies!! So popular am I that yet another thread has been generated for lil’ me! Good thing I’m looking cute *vapid giggle* and living my best c*ntry lyfe!! Snorttttt!! Fake screech of laughter, snot bubble out of left nostril.

I am transitioning beautifully - no, not into a man you thilly thausages - into a c*ntry wife with dashing faux insta husband (he’s a dab hand with his weapon) ooooh of course I’m talking about pidgeon shooting - he’s a rooting tooting shooter sponsored by BaaBaa (I think that how you spell it, too lazy to check) and Aston Martin, Mutha F*ckers - still can’t believe we managed that one *self five*. So shooting pidgeons is such fun! Never done it before, but I’ll say I have. I’m better than him, obvs, brilliance is built in as standard, thanks Daddy) *emits crazed demonic laugh* We have blended into the country scene so seamlessly and a lady even said to me today “you look like new money”!! Ah. What a lovely thing to say! We are new money, bitch!! And we can buy and sell you several times! *explosion of ridiculous, self unaware laughter* she has no clue how confident I am. I’m a proud but difficult woman. Haters gonna hate. I’ve got my knockers (actually they need replacing, waiting on Dr Ahads’s brother for a freebie), but no, I’ve got my knockers as I am THE face of ByTerribleMuriel which is as good as Miss World let’s face it. I’m a model. I’m willowy. I’m elegant. Not awkward. Not angular. Not manly. I’m delicate. I’m a wikkle pwitty pwincess. I piss excellence. It’s true, I’m great at everything. I was dropped into a pool of glitter as a child and I’ve sparkled ever since (hugs to Daddy). Looks to the sky and sighs... up in the marshmallow clouds in LydiaLand, you can take a ride on a glittering unicorn through the fields of gumdrops, past the fountains of magical sherbet and take a slippy slide down the candy rainbows... shakes head.. enough of that Lydster. Back down to earth to hustle (clicks fingers) & decide how your girl is gonna break it to Moron Gordon that he is losing his hair *witch like cackle* oh who bloody cares, back to me, Spring Lydia is loading & everyone adores Spring Lydia - my carefully curated selection of overpriced diaphanous white gowns (and the odd piece of H & M tat to keep it real for the subs). I may even consider losing the sleek sexy hun bun. But first, lets get this weekend finished. I’ve had to start periodically using the horrid word AD as the nasty pasties have grassed on me (no one likes a grass) and I’ve had a bit of a bollocking. Nervous giggle. Luckily I’m too thick skinned (stoopid) to actually care & my subs love me enough to not care either. *throws head back, evil roar* these bishes don’t even blink an eye at the Olay shite I feed them occasionally. They lap dat shit upppppp. I would never sell out or promote something that wasn’t my favourite (lols) but I also wouldn’t put that lard anywhere near my precious face. Secret squirrel but I’ve been approached by a tv company. Eek. They want to show everyone how brilliant I am, basically. Wasn’t really listening to the details, just the fees. The proposed title is ‘On The Fiddle With Lidl’. Not decided if I’ll do it yet. I’ve never played an instrument. Oh Diary, I miss my house. I miss my mirrors. I miss the feral pet graveyard that is MY home. I miss the mismatching floors, doors, cloakroom, board room, basement, the cats that hate me, my dusty champagne glasses, unused, no friends. I miss my pickernic basket, my posh tea towels, my random vases. I miss Carrie.. actually, that’s a lie. She’s a nause! Oh I miss everything inanimate in my life. Those are the things that really count. People who say ‘possessions do not maketh the man’ have clearly never possessed anything. Oh let’s get this shit show over with. Old ‘Maverick’ is giving me the irritations, he thinks he’s Quick Draw Macgraw now. Any relation to Sticky Vicky? OH I WANT TO GO HOME. Taps hobbit feet 3 times. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Laterz haterz xoxo

Outstanding! I can actually imagine her saying all that! :gj: :gj:


WTF is she wearing in that photo, just looks so contrived, stick a wax jacket and a pair of riding boots on and now i look like upper class country queen! Just looks like a twat.

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by Spangles11 »

LicenseToLurk wrote:Dear Diary, I’m getting good at this writing stuff down, lovelies!! So popular am I that yet another thread has been generated for lil’ me! Good thing I’m looking cute *vapid giggle* and living my best c*ntry lyfe!! Snorttttt!! Fake screech of laughter, snot bubble out of left nostril.

I am transitioning beautifully - no, not into a man you thilly thausages - into a c*ntry wife with dashing faux insta husband (he’s a dab hand with his weapon) ooooh of course I’m talking about pidgeon shooting - he’s a rooting tooting shooter sponsored by BaaBaa (I think that how you spell it, too lazy to check) and Aston Martin, Mutha F*ckers - still can’t believe we managed that one *self five*. So shooting pidgeons is such fun! Never done it before, but I’ll say I have. I’m better than him, obvs, brilliance is built in as standard, thanks Daddy) *emits crazed demonic laugh* We have blended into the country scene so seamlessly and a lady even said to me today “you look like new money”!! Ah. What a lovely thing to say! We are new money, bitch!! And we can buy and sell you several times! *explosion of ridiculous, self unaware laughter* she has no clue how confident I am. I’m a proud but difficult woman. Haters gonna hate. I’ve got my knockers (actually they need replacing, waiting on Dr Ahads’s brother for a freebie), but no, I’ve got my knockers as I am THE face of ByTerribleMuriel which is as good as Miss World let’s face it. I’m a model. I’m willowy. I’m elegant. Not awkward. Not angular. Not manly. I’m delicate. I’m a wikkle pwitty pwincess. I piss excellence. It’s true, I’m great at everything. I was dropped into a pool of glitter as a child and I’ve sparkled ever since (hugs to Daddy). Looks to the sky and sighs... up in the marshmallow clouds in LydiaLand, you can take a ride on a glittering unicorn through the fields of gumdrops, past the fountains of magical sherbet and take a slippy slide down the candy rainbows... shakes head.. enough of that Lydster. Back down to earth to hustle (clicks fingers) & decide how your girl is gonna break it to Moron Gordon that he is losing his hair *witch like cackle* oh who bloody cares, back to me, Spring Lydia is loading & everyone adores Spring Lydia - my carefully curated selection of overpriced diaphanous white gowns (and the odd piece of H & M tat to keep it real for the subs). I may even consider losing the sleek sexy hun bun. But first, lets get this weekend finished. I’ve had to start periodically using the horrid word AD as the nasty pasties have grassed on me (no one likes a grass) and I’ve had a bit of a bollocking. Nervous giggle. Luckily I’m too thick skinned (stoopid) to actually care & my subs love me enough to not care either. *throws head back, evil roar* these bishes don’t even blink an eye at the Olay shite I feed them occasionally. They lap dat shit upppppp. I would never sell out or promote something that wasn’t my favourite (lols) but I also wouldn’t put that lard anywhere near my precious face. Secret squirrel but I’ve been approached by a tv company. Eek. They want to show everyone how brilliant I am, basically. Wasn’t really listening to the details, just the fees. The proposed title is ‘On The Fiddle With Lidl’. Not decided if I’ll do it yet. I’ve never played an instrument. Oh Diary, I miss my house. I miss my mirrors. I miss the feral pet graveyard that is MY home. I miss the mismatching floors, doors, cloakroom, board room, basement, the cats that hate me, my dusty champagne glasses, unused, no friends. I miss my pickernic basket, my posh tea towels, my random vases. I miss Carrie.. actually, that’s a lie. She’s a nause! Oh I miss everything inanimate in my life. Those are the things that really count. People who say ‘possessions do not maketh the man’ have clearly never possessed anything. Oh let’s get this shit show over with. Old ‘Maverick’ is giving me the irritations, he thinks he’s Quick Draw Macgraw now. Any relation to Sticky Vicky? OH I WANT TO GO HOME. Taps hobbit feet 3 times. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Laterz haterz xoxo
Pure brilliancy Image


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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by GeorgeePorgee »

Here we go. Knew it wouldn't take MeMe McGrabby long. Just the beginning of the hints I'm sure.Image

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by rah_rah_skirt »

What?? I went to bed & woke up to a new thread! ... Hang on, gotta go & catch up on the last half-dozen posts.

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by MoanyMinnie »

LicenseToLurk wrote:Dear Diary, I’m getting good at this writing stuff down, lovelies!! So popular am I that yet another thread has been generated for lil’ me! Good thing I’m looking cute *vapid giggle* and living my best c*ntry lyfe!! Snorttttt!! Fake screech of laughter, snot bubble out of left nostril.

I am transitioning beautifully - no, not into a man you thilly thausages - into a c*ntry wife with dashing faux insta husband (he’s a dab hand with his weapon) ooooh of course I’m talking about pidgeon shooting - he’s a rooting tooting shooter sponsored by BaaBaa (I think that how you spell it, too lazy to check) and Aston Martin, Mutha F*ckers - still can’t believe we managed that one *self five*. So shooting pidgeons is such fun! Never done it before, but I’ll say I have. I’m better than him, obvs, brilliance is built in as standard, thanks Daddy) *emits crazed demonic laugh* We have blended into the country scene so seamlessly and a lady even said to me today “you look like new money”!! Ah. What a lovely thing to say! We are new money, bitch!! And we can buy and sell you several times! *explosion of ridiculous, self unaware laughter* she has no clue how confident I am. I’m a proud but difficult woman. Haters gonna hate. I’ve got my knockers (actually they need replacing, waiting on Dr Ahads’s brother for a freebie), but no, I’ve got my knockers as I am THE face of ByTerribleMuriel which is as good as Miss World let’s face it. I’m a model. I’m willowy. I’m elegant. Not awkward. Not angular. Not manly. I’m delicate. I’m a wikkle pwitty pwincess. I piss excellence. It’s true, I’m great at everything. I was dropped into a pool of glitter as a child and I’ve sparkled ever since (hugs to Daddy). Looks to the sky and sighs... up in the marshmallow clouds in LydiaLand, you can take a ride on a glittering unicorn through the fields of gumdrops, past the fountains of magical sherbet and take a slippy slide down the candy rainbows... shakes head.. enough of that Lydster. Back down to earth to hustle (clicks fingers) & decide how your girl is gonna break it to Moron Gordon that he is losing his hair *witch like cackle* oh who bloody cares, back to me, Spring Lydia is loading & everyone adores Spring Lydia - my carefully curated selection of overpriced diaphanous white gowns (and the odd piece of H & M tat to keep it real for the subs). I may even consider losing the sleek sexy hun bun. But first, lets get this weekend finished. I’ve had to start periodically using the horrid word AD as the nasty pasties have grassed on me (no one likes a grass) and I’ve had a bit of a bollocking. Nervous giggle. Luckily I’m too thick skinned (stoopid) to actually care & my subs love me enough to not care either. *throws head back, evil roar* these bishes don’t even blink an eye at the Olay shite I feed them occasionally. They lap dat shit upppppp. I would never sell out or promote something that wasn’t my favourite (lols) but I also wouldn’t put that lard anywhere near my precious face. Secret squirrel but I’ve been approached by a tv company. Eek. They want to show everyone how brilliant I am, basically. Wasn’t really listening to the details, just the fees. The proposed title is ‘On The Fiddle With Lidl’. Not decided if I’ll do it yet. I’ve never played an instrument. Oh Diary, I miss my house. I miss my mirrors. I miss the feral pet graveyard that is MY home. I miss the mismatching floors, doors, cloakroom, board room, basement, the cats that hate me, my dusty champagne glasses, unused, no friends. I miss my pickernic basket, my posh tea towels, my random vases. I miss Carrie.. actually, that’s a lie. She’s a nause! Oh I miss everything inanimate in my life. Those are the things that really count. People who say ‘possessions do not maketh the man’ have clearly never possessed anything. Oh let’s get this shit show over with. Old ‘Maverick’ is giving me the irritations, he thinks he’s Quick Draw Macgraw now. Any relation to Sticky Vicky? OH I WANT TO GO HOME. Taps hobbit feet 3 times. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Laterz haterz xoxo

Omg this is brilliant - silent laughing in bed as hubby is almost asleep next to me Image

“On the fiddle with Lidl”- I am actually deadImageImageImage
! Choking on my own saliva whilst I lay in my bed reading this - just amazing writing ImageImageImage


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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by MoanyMinnie »

Iris1969 wrote:Thanks :tu:

Lydia is liking her own post again :?.

Wow her face is so ugly in this picture. And what the fork is with the hideous outfit Image


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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by Muff_Puff »

I have arrived.

Image

No A.W.O.L (As ordered by LicenseToLurk)

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by GeorgeePorgee »

Muff_Puff wrote:I have arrived.

Image

No A.W.O.L (As ordered by LicenseToLurk)

Image
It must be her blankie box where she keeps skivvy Carrie.

You will have to stay & play spot the vape in the thyme vlog.

Maybe AM paid so well they were able to demand a photographer each?

What date are the stairs in?
Hope she trips up them while eye f*cking herself vlogging.

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by avabella »

Parking myself for the next adventure


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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by chattychatterbox »

<3

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by Muff_Puff »

Image

Image

Image

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by Spangles11 »

Muff_Puff wrote:Image

Image

Image
F*ckinghell Muff Puff I’m scarred for life Image


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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by Spangles11 »

Also is it weird that the top one doesn’t look too far away from the actual real Lydia? Says a lot #masculine


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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by rah_rah_skirt »

Muff_Puff wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 4:32 pm
Image

Image

Image
There goes my tea & my hot cross bun, all over my screen! :rofl: :rofl:

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by Hi there »

Ohhh muff_puff you’ve outdone yourself this time lmao!!! Please please never leave us. I don’t even follow Lidl or watch any of her videos, haven’t done so in over 2 years now but I love this community so much I can’t give up on it lol! Makes my day so much better 💖
Most of the time when you brilliant ladies are discussing the flog, I have no clue what you are on about but it won’t stop me reading here and laugh my head off 😂

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Re: My Lidl Phoney (Shetland Edition) Shooting Clays & AD’s for days #39

Post by Muff_Puff »

Spangles, rah_rah and Hi there.... your replies are making me lol.

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