Two Star Tanya - Life Drainingly Lacklustre Part 28

[GetRichFromLies]

New thread!

[HearMeRoar]

Thanks for making the new thread! That one went so quick!

Okay I caught up! Can't wait for the video now...Well I can but I also want to see this train wreck!

I agree with everyone about how weird her accent is in this! I am from North Yorkshire and I can tell you she definitely isn't trying to do a Yorkshire accent and if she is then she has failed miserably because it sounds more Southern. In Yorkshire we do not articulate much at all (not where I'm from anyway).

The 'me fanny' bit was so wrong how she said it... It sounds in the script, due to the 'me' it could be intended to be Northern in some way but she sounds so posh and timid. I think she's trying to go for a mix of midlands and the non-posh areas of London but fails miserably. For all the articulation she does, she cannot be understood either...and that's just a small clip.

[Mini-Creature]

[sarwah17]

It seems that Tan is the classic example of hubris. She abandoned the two things she was good at - youtube and her cosmetics line - and dropped them before she had even established herself as an 'actress'. Biting the hand that feeds you never ends well

[Montymoo]

I'm still struggling with the idea she had a flake in/near her fannypack, or at least pretended like so.


Wonder if Jim thinks tan is doing so good because her fake O is actually the same one she pulls in bed.

[meg1912]

So funny how sooooo many people are finally stepping out of lurkerdom all thanks to AmenAmen!
By the look of things, we'll need a new thread in a couple days!!!

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[HeadFullofDreams]

Omg how fast are these threads moving

[meg1912]

No wonder Tarn is all smiles! She definitely knows how to play the game, I'll give her that.

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[nixworld68]

AmenAmen for Prime Minister!

Have to say- it was actually worse than I thought. Truly amateur. I saw a production in London a few weeks ago and comparing this to that one is laughable at how different the quality was.
Also massive LOL at her IGing that Tatler article and no mention whatsoever about all the other reviews!

[Mini-Creature]

So funny how sooooo many people are finally stepping out of lurkerdom all thanks to AmenAmen!
By the look of things, we'll need a new thread in a couple days!!!

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I think we'll have a new one by tomorrow if AmenAmen drops that video!

[gretucci]

She looks like a thumb in that pic with Holly Jones

[lmntt]

Someone needs to lock the other thread!

[meg1912]

So funny how sooooo many people are finally stepping out of lurkerdom all thanks to AmenAmen!
By the look of things, we'll need a new thread in a couple days!!!

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I think we'll have a new one by tomorrow if AmenAmen drops that video!

Definitely!!! AmenAmen is almost breaking the Internet like KK!

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[Dakanabelle]

I followed the link in the previous thread and it says that the has been deleted or expired, any help? I don't follow Tanya but I'd love to see this!

[newtoyou]

Finally listened and it's exactly what I expected it be, thought the Dean guy would be better though. Definitely sounds like she's reading off a script.

Thanks Amen

[Guest]

Another lurker coming out of the woods
I think the fact that she's retweeted the one positive review pretty much confirms that she has read all the negative reviews too, or at least is very aware of their presence.

Only acknowledging good reviews is ridiculously unprofessional in my opinion. How arrogant!

[meowelseh]

i can't get over how predicted this all was

[Livinlavidaloca]

Had to register and stop lurking just to post about her recent Instagram (can’t work out how to post a screen shot on mobile) I mean COME ON. How much has she paid Tatler for that review?! Funny it’s the only one she’s posted about...

[poshbird]

Bruh this thread is moving at Jaclyn Hill thread speed!

I've read through the entire thing (like most of us have) and...I just want to take this moment to say I laughed out loud sooo many times. You lot are fucking hilarious! Including some of the newbies/old lurkers. I started "Thanking" all the posts that made me laugh but I thought I was doing too many so I stopped. But honestly, this thread is brilliant. So many funny people in here!

Oh and for those that couldn't understand wtf Tarn and he co-star were saying, I've typed it out for you:

T: Are there any *exhales* Flakes?

D: Neeooorrrr don ge'me star'ed on nat again!

T: Are there? *over the top upward inflection to make sure everyone knows it's a question she's asking.*
ACTING

D: You're askin' for it *upward inflection again. Was this supposed to be a question or a statement? Whatever. It's not going to save this car crash*

T: SOOOOooo? *Tarn's usual reply when she's reminded she hasn't actually got the ability to act*

**DOOR SLAM** of some poor audience member getting the fuck out before they can't take it any more and have to scream out JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE????!!! I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!!!!!!

D: Oww! Yur-mos-ad-my-yai-ow, wiv yer buk'all

T: Good! Urgh! Worst thing abow nnnew jeanscantdothebuttons'out breaking your fucking nay-uhl!

JIM!!! Shit, I mean, DEAN!!!

**masturbating potato sounds**

T: Uh that's nice... Uh! Just stroke me *Uh! Just KILL ME!*

D: Will you be comin' back? I mean you're not finkin about goin' away for ever, right?

**potato continues to make uncomfortable mating sounds**

Potato: Sleur!

**still with the gross potato getting its filthy muddy starchy rocks off! WHEN WILL IT END?!**

D: I don'like slo

T: Gyzerdiffrent. Ahp! What's that?

D: A Cadbury's Flake!

**Jim and the family and friends he forced to come giggle**

T: Dean! Just stoke medontstickyupImeanitwillbreakofforsomething *breathes in* Idontwantbitsofchocolate droppingoutmefannyallday

**more forced laughter, this time with a gun to their head**

D: I could puddit in the freezer. Make it go hard? Ven it won't crumble.

T: Punter. SHIT.

**waves of nausea, confusion, and regret flow through you as you begin to wonder how it is possible to self-harm through audio clips of a potato climaxing**

[dumblydore]

Tatler would probably have lost all of its credibility in all future theatre reviews now that it's the only one saying this play's brilliant when more than 5 other theatre reviews gave them 2 stars.